neverplaysfair | Game 047 [Written] - That Which Doesn't Kill Me, Though it Sure is Trying

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Game 047 [Written] - That Which Doesn't Kill Me, Though it Sure is Trying

[ The camera is covered, but Joshua is making no real effort to disguise his handwriting. He's too upset for that. ]

What should you do if you're so homesick you honestly, truly cannot stand it?

[ A few minutes later, the following is added. ]

[ Locked to Haruhi - 100% ]

The friendship club might have to wait a bit longer.

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I would suggest looking for something to take your mind off of home, if you can. Homesickness is always terrible. Could you listen to some music, go jogging, or do anything else that would make you think of something else? Even something like a puzzle can be of help.

Still?

It's everything. The place I lived, the people I knew, the sound of life in the city happening around me, all the way down to little things like the graffiti I'd catch glimpses of hiding away in back alleys.

I've already tried many of the things I do back home, but they all seem to be losing their effectiveness.

But in the end, the homesickness always returns, doesn't it? It almost makes it seem like distractions aren't even worth it in the first place.

[ There's a pause, then Joshua throws up another filter. He at least realizes he's not in a state emotionally where he'd be confident he wouldn't let anything slip to Shiki he wouldn't want getting out further. ]

You say that as if I should get better.

[.....same as him, eh.]

Do you think anything could really completely distract you from the homesickness?

[There's a long pause as she considers if there's a permanent cure to homesickness, without visiting home.]

Please don't think of it like that. Even if it's only for a short time, those moments without it will feel wonderful. [...Oh, maybe this would work?] The battle dome can create any sort of environment you know. Perhaps you could recreate your home in a simulation? It won't be the same as being there, but it would be close.

I don't think so. But just because I can't think of anything doesn't mean I'm going to discard the possibility of someone else coming up with something.

That might be an idea. [ There's a pause. ] Although I wonder how close it would even be.

I'd imagine it's not a common feeling, but you might have experienced it. You visit someplace you know very well, but there's something off about it. Sometimes it doesn't matter much, but sometimes whatever is off makes the entire experience feel wrong or fake. The battle dome would likely be more like the latter, I'm afraid.

[This hits pretty close to home.]

I dream. Otherwise, I make Luceti part of my home, by recalling the piece of it that is within my instinct.

Have you explored the entire area yet?

No. Most of this place is too empty for my tastes.

How does dreaming help? [ He can get to questioning the second part later. ]

Maybe you should try it.

When I am asleep, I sometimes dream of home, and it seems as real as truly being there. If I am awake, then it creates the feeling of being home.

And you say that as if you're content being miserable.

Do you have any wonderful suggestions?

From what I've seen, the simulations there are very well created.

I can't say I've ever experienced a feeling like that before. [Though she has experienced an illusion of her friend's home town, though it's not exactly the same.] It wasn't the best idea, I'm sorry. Knowing that the battle dome isn't really your home would probably make the entire experience feel off, like you said.

You could elaborate on what's bugging you. That could help.

I've been away from Shibuya for far too long.

And confirm just how small and sparse my world now is? That sounds rather like it would make things worse.

Dreams aren't enough to fool me anymore. What do you mean by instinct?

It's something I haven't tried, at least. Maybe I'll give it a chance. If nothing else, I might get a good bowl of ramen out of it. Hardly enough to cure homesickness, but it's something.

..right. So have the rest of us.

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