neverplaysfair | Game 047 [Written] - That Which Doesn't Kill Me, Though it Sure is Trying

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Game 047 [Written] - That Which Doesn't Kill Me, Though it Sure is Trying

[ The camera is covered, but Joshua is making no real effort to disguise his handwriting. He's too upset for that. ]

What should you do if you're so homesick you honestly, truly cannot stand it?

[ A few minutes later, the following is added. ]

[ Locked to Haruhi - 100% ]

The friendship club might have to wait a bit longer.

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But in the end, the homesickness always returns, doesn't it? It almost makes it seem like distractions aren't even worth it in the first place.

[There's a long pause as she considers if there's a permanent cure to homesickness, without visiting home.]

Please don't think of it like that. Even if it's only for a short time, those moments without it will feel wonderful. [...Oh, maybe this would work?] The battle dome can create any sort of environment you know. Perhaps you could recreate your home in a simulation? It won't be the same as being there, but it would be close.

That might be an idea. [ There's a pause. ] Although I wonder how close it would even be.

I'd imagine it's not a common feeling, but you might have experienced it. You visit someplace you know very well, but there's something off about it. Sometimes it doesn't matter much, but sometimes whatever is off makes the entire experience feel wrong or fake. The battle dome would likely be more like the latter, I'm afraid.

From what I've seen, the simulations there are very well created.

I can't say I've ever experienced a feeling like that before. [Though she has experienced an illusion of her friend's home town, though it's not exactly the same.] It wasn't the best idea, I'm sorry. Knowing that the battle dome isn't really your home would probably make the entire experience feel off, like you said.

It's something I haven't tried, at least. Maybe I'll give it a chance. If nothing else, I might get a good bowl of ramen out of it. Hardly enough to cure homesickness, but it's something.

[Hmm, she doesn't feel as though she's really cheered him up at all. If only she knew more about homesickness.]

Maybe if you really lost yourself in the illusion it would feel better? But then it might feel worse when you leave. [...] Is there anything I might be able to do to make you feel better at all? Something you need that I could bring you? [She's out of ideas, so offering to help like this is all Nodoka has left.]

I don't think it's possible. [ The battle dome may be able to replicate places, noises, even people, but he's certain it will never feel like Shibuya. Not to him. ]

Thanks, but I don't think there's much to be done to help right now. I just [ he pauses ] need to get over this, I suppose. [ But he can't get over it. And he knows it. ]

I see... [Now she's at a loss for what to do. She feels bad not being able to be of any real help.]

It's very difficult to just 'get over' something like this though. It must be [...] very painful for you. I'm terribly sorry I couldn't be of more assistance. I'll be sure to read up on homesickness so I can be of more help in future.

[ There aren't words enough to convey just how painful it truly is. But now at least he has something else he can pick out in this conversation. In the end, simple distractions still prove the most effective, huh? ]

If you take on the burdens of others too much, you many find them crushing you with all their weight.

[If simple conversation like this is enough then she might be being more help than she had first thought.]

I'll be sure to pace myself so I won't take on too much at once. It feels good to help someone, but if the helper can't even help themselves then that isn't sending out the best impression.

Far too many aren't able to judge how much they can handle.

A lot of people do seem to have very big hearts, so much so that they take on more than they should... But really, even if they tire themselves out, at least they were being kind and they were happy doing so. 'It's the thought that counts' after all.

But by caring for others, you make others care about you in turn. And all those people worry when something goes wrong.

[ At least, that's how it goes when you're not playing the man behind the curtain. ]

[That's a pretty awful way to think about this sort of thing... Nodoka waits a moment longer before she replies.]

What if you reassure them not to worry though? I would hate to think all the people I've offered to help might worry about me if something happens. [Then she might just become a burden or something.]

You can't decide that they shouldn't worry. Relationships are a two-way street.

Well no I can't decide that for them, but I would prefer it if they didn't worry. Worrying about things doesn't get you anywhere and it only causes more problems. I would hate to think that by helping someone I would be eventually causing a problem for them.

It's human nature to cause problems. With or without intention.

Please don't say that. Even if it's unintentional it is still a problem. I haven't caused any problems for you today by replying you to have I? If I have then I apologise.

What do you intend to do if one day you yourself need help?

I needed help quite recently and a number of people offered to help me. There are a number of kind people here like that.

Weren't you then causing a problem for them?

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