Game 035 [Action] - Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart

[neverplaysfair]

[ If you're up and about late, late on the border of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you might happen to catch Joshua making his way from the plaza towards Community Housing 5, holding what on closer inspection reveals itself to be a violin case. He's rather under-dressed, especially considering the snow is picking up, but he doesn't seem to mind much at all.

A little later, you can find him on top of Community Housing 5, sans violin case. He's just sitting in the snow, staring up at the stars that occasionally peek through the clouds. ]

Comments

[neverplaysfair]

That's nothing.

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

It's something, and it's a fixable something. I can help you, you just hafta let me.

[neverplaysfair]

You're not fixing it.

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

I can fix sleep deprivation. The rest I can't fix, but I can help.

[neverplaysfair]

I don't need to sleep anymore. [ He thinks, at least. But this isn't a fight he wants to be having right now. He just wanted to stare at the stars and pretend he was on top of 104 again where the Music of the city barely reaches and the cold is only mildly uncomfortable. ]

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

You can go a nice long while without it bothering you, but it does get uncomfortable, I'll tell you that now. Sleep might be a relief.

[ The smile's gone, but he's not angry. ]

I did it a few weeks ago and you let me.

[neverplaysfair]

I didn't let you. [ That's a definite pout in his voice. ]

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

Right, because you were in pain and practically unconscious from not letting me. It does help. I've seen it happen.

[neverplaysfair]

[ He goes quiet, staring up at the stars more. Then, after a long silence, ]

You poisoned her.

[ Whatever is in his voice, it isn't malice. ]

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

To save her.

[ Something weary breaks across his face, and after a long moment, Sanae looks away to the stars. ]

Do you still hate me for it?

[neverplaysfair]

I doubt I'll ever stop hating you for it.

[ He could go on, he could give his reasons, point out all the alternatives, he could mention how it wasn't necessary... but he's tired. They've had this argument before. This isn't the time or place to start it again. ]

That doesn't mean I won't forgive you for doing it.

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

You didn't protest at 'friends'.

[ This, on the other hand, is something he says while glancing to Josh. Sanae isn't under any delusion that he's earned it, that he's someone trustworthy, and it's not as though he'll be heartbroken to hear they're allies if anything.

But he does like to know where they stand. ]

[neverplaysfair]

[ His face remains completely blank. ]

Should I have?

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

Depends on what you think we are.

[ Another moment of watching, and then he returns to looking at stars. ]

I like it more than 'enemies', anyway.

[neverplaysfair]

Good thing we're not really enemies, then. [ He gives a small sigh. ] Or maybe we are, I suppose. It's not as if I'll change how I act based up some already-constructed label that might or might not be slapped onto our relationship.

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

Doubt there's a label that would fit us right, anyway. Maybe that's the point.

[ He stops hiding his hands from the cold so as to lean back on his arms, faking casualness. Mostly faking, anyway. Some of it is real.

Some but not much. ]

Do you want to sleep?

[neverplaysfair]

I want her. The real her.

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

If I could give you that instead, I would. In an instant. Not like I have much to go back to.

[ He glances back at Josh, worry starting to seep into his voice. ]

You need her, too, but that's one thing you can't have.

[neverplaysfair]

[ Joshua is quiet for a long moment. Then, very calmly he responds. ]

I know.

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

I've got the next best thing. Not even close to being the same, but it's something. Please let me try it?

[ He keeps the exasperation out of his voice, and the desperation, which both itch at the back of his mind. The 'please' is honest, faintly concerned. ]

[neverplaysfair]

Why are you so insistent? [ It's not said bitterly. It's a question asked mostly out of curiosity. ]

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

I don't like to see you hurting.

[ Sanae seems almost surprised by the question, and his response is just as honest as the request before it. ]

I worry for you, J. For the city, you know that, but for you too.

[neverplaysfair]

[ After a moment, he quietly stands up, gaze still fixed on the sky above. ]

[nattocat.livejournal.com]

[ Sanae watches with cautious curiosity, expression beginning to turn just a little sad. ]

I don't think I've earned any right to it. But I do like being able to help -- call it concern for Shibuya's safety if you want to, but that is only half of it.

[neverplaysfair]

[ Without a word, Joshua turns and heads towards the stairs down off the roof. He makes it halfway, stops, and without turning around, ]

Well? Aren't you coming along?